Below Deck Sailing: A Feast of Epiphanies

We open with Jenna and Adam treating their seven week relationship like they’re in couple’s counseling with kids after seven YEARS. Seriously, you two, there’s only one more charter after this one. Is there any way we could bribe you to just have sex and not speak? It would be a win-win for everyone involved. Jenna’s Dr.Phil-ed Adam into being convinced he’s the only thing wrong with this relationship. News Flash: you suck equally. As the much parodied Phil might say, “You’re like a camera without any film. Or, maybe, a shoe without any laces.” Whatever lame analogy he could come up with would fit.

It’s only taken the other crew members a mere 15 episodes to finally get hip to what Madison has been telling them for weeks. Light bulbs are at last popping on to full wattage with one person after another. I think the delay in power has been due to the fact that most of the other people on the boat haven’t been personally affected by Jenna’s slackerish ways. Adam’s still getting his food out on time, so aside from a random tantrum here and there, he’s at least keeping the guests happy. As for the rest of them, they didn’t have to concern themselves because Madison was picking up all of the slack.

Light bulbs are popping up over everyone’s heads!

That all ended this week though, because in the middle of a day with no sailing and the guests just hanging out and playing with water toys, Jenna decides to take Madison off service and give Georgia a two and a half hour break. Then the resident Einstein decides to put Madison back on service and take a cuddle break with Adam at the same time. Madison could be part octopus and still not have enough arms to handle all of that by herself. With no one else to call on both Byron and Ciara are now handling drink orders. It took Ciara a whopping ONE time of having to do something that wasn’t her job before she complained to Glenn. Anyone complaining about Madison at least has to credit her with not throwing Jenna under the bus all of this time to her superior.

Glenn even broke down and asked Madison what was up and she declined to make an issue of it. She assured him that they were adults and could work it out and that she just wanted to get through this charter and the next without rocking the boat.

Not letting fear stop her. Kerry is inspirational!

While the crew is having their series of epiphanies, the primary guest Kerry is sharing ones of her own. Her attitude is everything we should aspire to daily, without the looming diagnoses. Even she regrets that it took getting sick to come to the realization. If we take away nothing else from this charter, it should be that positivity and zest for life.

With Madison and Georgia off working the beach cocktail party, Glenn’s now alert antennae are really honed in on how unprofessionally Adam and Jenna behave in the galley and crew mess. No?! Really?! We’d never have guessed. I feel like I could go back through the episodes and screenshot footage where he’s been present for it before now, but him finally waking up to it is good enough for me.

Over at the beach party, Georgia and Paget serenade the guests and Chris has an epiphany of his own. He’s picking up on “energy” between Paget and Georgia. Wow, another one with a flair for the obvious. Don’t fret, Chris. It’s tough to be positive, pretty, AND smart. As they tender back to the yacht, even Kerry remarks that she sees the chemistry between the duo. I’m sure Ciara is hating this episode.

Sunglasses can’t hide those flirting glances.

The pajama fashion show was fun. Glenn made me laugh in his Aladdin pjs. Jenna was completely extra, and I expect no less. Byron elicited a giggle with his pants drop and hopefully that’s the reaction he was going for. Chris out walked them all with stripper moves, a hot tub dunk, and a not so subtle shedding of his shirt. He won a robe and two hundred dollars, which might offset the cost of the MRI on his bad back.

The next morning the guests leave happy and grateful and offer a pretty good tip. Glenn sits everyone down and has praise for all of them except for the interior. Jenna is steaming trying to control her rage. She proclaims to camera that the guests are always happy and it’s because of her guidance. At least she was self aware enough not to say it was because of her work. Georgia boggles my mind by being upset that Madison complained to Ciara. Then again, Georgia has had the least work of any third stew in the history of the franchise barring Caroline. It’s easy to act like Madison is playing the victim when Georgia doesn’t have to pick up any of the slack.

We’ll have to wait until next week to see how the talk between Glenn and Jenna goes. I’m personally hoping for an epic fireworks display. The doctor arrives and it sounds like Chris is in for some bad news as well. It also appears that the next charter may have a drug smuggler aboard. If we’re lucky, at the finale there’ll be pirates! Until then, folks!

Full time housewife, mom, and grandma with more opinions than my family can handle, so I share them with the internet instead.

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