Below Deck Sailing Yacht: I Still Can’t Stand Jenna

I figured I would get that little tidbit out of the way in case any fans of Jenna wanted to bounce. I’m not looking to waste anyone’s time regardless of the fact that many of us have a greater abundance of it now. So consider yourself warned. The Chief Stew will be filleted, fricasseed, roasted, and boiled..all metaphorically of course. Let’s get to it, shall we?

We’re back at the rockiest beach possible in Greece and we’re barefoot to boot. You’d think that would be the height of pain, but no. Jenna, complete with her PhD in complaining continues to go on and on about how poor the beach picnic set-up is. My first item in what will be a laundry list of tips for the Grief Stew is this: how about you take a cue from Kate and actually involve yourself in creating the atmosphere you’d like for the guests. Maybe come up with a theme or two on your own and :gasp: do a table decoration? I’m aware it will cut down on your PDA time with Adam, but you’re the one who pointed out that these people are paying tens of thousands of dollars for the experience. A tenth of the attention you give Adam redirected towards paying clients might be warranted.

Adam suggests they move the tables and umbrellas back to a more sheltered area of the cove, and it’s a good move. With the greenery backing the tables and the umbrella out of the wind, it’s transformed into a much more intimate setting. I agree with him also on his love for outdoor cooking. Some of my best meal experiences have been simple dishes cooked on our fire pit. There’s something primal about the atmosphere, and the wood smoke adds a flavor that no gas oven can rival. I did have to chuckle at guest Carla’s dismay over Jenna just plopping plates down and not serving them. So much for Jenna caring about the guests’ experience.

Back on the boat, Madison is working on turn-downs while Georgia preps for the Pink Party. Georgia is thrilled at the extra faith Jenna has in her to allow her to handle the party design herself. Madison seems less than thrilled to have to do Georgia’s job of turn-downs in the meantime. To add insult to injury, Georgia radios down to check on Madison’s progress. Interesting that one party assignment can turn her into a mini-Jenna and with the audacity to check on her superior. Where’s the hierarchy speech now, Cap?

Gorgeous Grecian Sunset

I will give credit where it’s due and say that the birthday party set-up looks lovely and Georgia did a good job. Parker toddled off to bed leaving Ciara to do the brunt of the beach party tear down. Captain Glenn pitched in to help unload the beach equipment when Paget and Ciara returned. I like that nothing is beneath him. He definitely leads by example.

Madison stays up until the wee hours finishing up tasks and takes it upon herself to prepare breakfast for Parker accompanied by a sweet note. Parker is still pining for his ex Kaiti, so I don’t know that he and Madison will wind up as couple number three.

At breakfast Carla is lamenting once again the family style nature of the the food service and wants Jenna to serve them. I don’t know that it’s all that hard to plate your own food, but I had to laugh at the Hypocrite-in-Chief’s reaction. The same Jenna who was complaining on the beach about Madison’s lack of attentiveness to the level of service expected, is now swearing in her confessional about how lazy the guest is. Apparently extra work is only required when Jenna doesn’t have to be the one to do it.

Parker takes it upon himself to scout out the perfect snorkeling spot for the guests. What should’ve been a quick trip was anything but. Instead of fancying himself as James Bond, Parker would have been better off channeling his inner MacGyver for a quick solution to the problem instead of an hours long adventure. Thankfully, when Parker runs into engine problems, big-brained Byron assesses the culprit via radio and Parker is finally able to fix it and make his way back.

What do these men have in common? Parker isn’t like any of them!

The guests go from contemplating a refund, to being okay with the wait after getting to swim surrounded by fish. Adam continues their enjoyment with a delicious meal that has the women actually eating instead of just smelling the food.

Jenna calls on Parker and Georgia to perform during dessert in an attempt to make up for their afternoon of occupying themselves with Minecraft. While it was a request of her and not an offer by her, I’m still starting to get a hokey vibe from Georgia as to why she’s on the show. It’s clear that music is her passion and I’m beginning to see this as more motivated by a desire for international exposure. Yes, she has a good voice and is talented, but Madison is repeatedly having to pick up Georgia’s slack because she’s not that hard or efficient a worker despite Jenna’s views.

To show that I’m capable of a modicum of objectivity where Jenna and Madison are concerned, I’ll give kudos to Jenna for arranging it so Madison can get 9 hours of sleep that evening. I’ll also offer a rare piece of criticism for Madison. Ignoring Jenna’s offer and staying up to hang out with Parker is on you. Don’t complain anymore about being tired if you aren’t going to take advantage of opportunities to recoup. Your “don’t tell me how to live my life” came off petulant and childish.

As we dock the next morning we’re treated to a display of white-knuckled parking as the Parsifal III is expertly maneuvered into a tiny slip. All hands are on deck to make it possible. Well all hands barring Adam and Jenna’s which are likely all over each other as they continue the galley groping. Captain Glenn acts like it was no big deal and all in a day’s work, but I found it impressive.

The guests disembark and leave a 17,000 dollar tip in their wake. Next week we’ll see the crew treated to a day off on the ship and whatever ramifications come from Jenna’s debrief with Captain Glenn about Madison. If they do decide to replace her it will be the biggest karmic kick to the teeth that Jenna has ever received, because everyone will see how little work she does without Madison there to make her look good.

Full time housewife, mom, and grandma with more opinions than my family can handle, so I share them with the internet instead.

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