Below Deck: Second Hand Embarrassment

Even after the excitement of staying in a haunted house over the weekend, I was still waiting with bated breath to see how the saga of drunken Delores turned out. I will say that it did not disappoint, but it did cause some second hand embarrassment for her friends, and some disgust from me. With no previews at the end of last week’s episode, I had wrongfully assumed that she would become contrite about her behavior and somehow manage to calm down the Captain. Boy, was I ever wrong on that front as well.

They started us off by recapping what led to the moment where Captain Lee said the charter was cancelled. Last week I had been so stunned by her behavior that a barely registered any emotion. This week I took on Cap’s anger and came close to blowing a vein when she had the unmitigated gall to tell her friends she had been told she could go swimming. Not a chance, Lying Liar Face. Cap expressly forbade you from doing so and you did it anyway. After exposing her lie, you could tell the Captain was full on Popeye and had all he could stand and couldn’t stand any more. He excused himself rather than going full blown Vesuvius, and Delores’ friends helped her down to her cabin.

Cap was afraid that Delores might sneak out and pull a repeat performance, so the crew had to take shifts keeping watch at the top of the stairs throughout the night. Izzy had been awakened by the chatter on the radio and even though she was sick, still volunteered for first watch. What a trouper, she is! And her reward for pushing through? Walking into her cabin to find Liz and James enjoying “bang time” while she was working. Some people on Twitter last night were acting like it wasn’t that big of deal, but neither James nor Liz volunteered for watch, even though they both had enough energy to do the bottom bunk bump.

The following morning Captain Lee called Eddie and Francesca to the bridge to ask if the “problem child” was awake yet and informed them that he was cutting her trip short. As far as the other guests wer concerned he was going to leave it up to them as to whether they wanted to leave with her in solidarity or toss her disrespectful butt under the proverbial sea bus. Not surprisingly, at least to me, the bus plowed over Delores right on schedule.

Round 2 – Defiant and Entitled to the bitter end.

Delores, when informed, became the total embodiment of entitlement. She was nervy enough to say, “I thought we were gonna say no one was going to say ‘no’ to us anymore on this trip.” Chess explained that it was a safety issue and it’s one of the areas where “no” is permissible. Delores quickly packed her bags and was escorted to the tender to be taken back to shore. Anyone who had the slightest bit of pity for her had it alleviated quickly as she chose yet again to dive into the water, this time from the tender. While she had nothing left to lose at that point, it was crazy rude and a total bird flip to Captain Lee.

James and Liz werre the last ones to wake up, so the gossip about the game of musical bunks had already made its way through the crew. Francesca wanted to immediately take it to the Captain, but Eddie talked her out of it. This was a smart move on his part because not only did Cap burst a few blood vessels over Delores’s shenanigans, but it also falls in line with Captain Lee’s philosophy of why does he need you if he has to solve all of the problems. The annoying icing on the cake that the editors made sure to slip in though, was Liz saying that she doesn’t get any sleep. If I hadn’t been comfy in bed live tweeting, I likely would’ve smacked my TV screen.

Now that Delores is no longer around, the guests are compliant and pleasant to deal with. After breakfast they enjoyed time on the slide and riding the jet skis. It didn’t go completely without incident however. Karen (who is apparently “A” Karen and not just named that) hit the throttle right when she was coming up to the boat and knocked off one of the side mirrors. James and Rob continue their bromance as they try and come up with a way to tell Eddie about the damage. I’m glad that chose the truth as opposed to the heroic saving her from a shark version. Eddie took it in stride and placed the blame where it belonged which was on the “Mumsy and Poopsy” crowd.

The guests headed ashore to cross an activity off of their bucket list with a pony ride on the beach. Thankfully Karen was better with the horses than the jet skis and none of them came up missing an ear. Upon their return, they informed Francesca that Captain Lee was welcome to join them again for dinner. I wouldn’t say he was enthused, but he was willing to join them so they wouldn’t feel like he held Delores’s poor behavior against them. He’s a do as I do kind of Captain after all and follows the “Suck it up” rules he expects from the crew.

Returned with all of the horses’ ears intact thankfully.

Before dinner there was a lull that allowed Eddie and Francesca to have their sit-down with Liz and James. To be honest, Eddie was much cooler about it than Francesca. There’s really no way to miss the giant gleaming ax she has to grind with Liz. The only difference to be found is whether or not people think Liz deserves it. I’ve made it clear in past blogs that I do, but for the readers who see it differently, I’m not completely unaware why you feel that way. It’s akin to a panther going after a fawn. Most people are going to root for the fawn, and in nature…so would I. I just won’t in a work environment. It seemed to go smoothly overall and we’ll have to see if the talk works or if it proceeds to the chop.

Rachel put Kevin to shame with her seafood extravaganza and as Captain Lee said, it definitely had the “vaganza” part included in her version. Some people might be curious as to how beef fits in, but I would’ve been grateful for it since I don’t eat seafood. From conch fritters to lobster to potatoes in mini cast iron skillets, the only way anyone could leave that table without being sated is if they did so by choice. Another home run in the meal department for Rach.

The morning of the last day of the charter Izzy was even sicker than the previous two days. Eddie sent her back to bed and had her wake James. For only being a three person deck crew, they handled the docking well and Cap was visibly pleased. The guests packed up and left the boat and left behind a 16,790 dollar tip. Random to say the least and at first I was disappointed in them for not leaving more, but then I took into account that it was only a two day charter and not three, so it wasn’t bad. It averaged out to the same amount per day that Bryan paid.

Captain Lee decided that Izzy should sleep in a guest room for the night to keep whatever she has from spreading to the rest of the crew. At the time there were no documented cases of coronavirus in Antigua, but it was better to err on the side of caution. The crew would have a day off the next day with a trip to the beach and Catherine’s Cafe. Most of the crew decided to stay in for the night, but James and Liz opted to go on a date. It was pretty uneventful and I was much more entertained by Eddie choosing a dare in the rest of the crew’s game of Truth or Dare and doing a goat call.

Good clean goat-callin’ fun.

When James and Liz returned to the boat they avoided the rest of the crew and decided to make use of one of the guest rooms. Again I seem to fall out of line with the majority opinion on Twitter who thought this was no big deal. First, they didn’t ask anyone if they could, and second…James’ bunk was now Izzy-free because she was in quarantine, so it’s not like they had no place else to go. I can’t escape the feeling that boundaries don’t exist in their worlds and they think it’s all their oyster no matter who happens to own it.

The show began with the guests’ second-hand embarrassment and it wrapped up with my own. The uber talented chef once again had her fill of Gollum transformation juice and turned into the dumpster mouth creature who wasn’t happy with containing her crazy to the confines of her crew, but now needed an audience and a microphone. She sauntered onto the stage and began ordering the band around telling them to Google music she wanted to sing, even though they had a singer. I was mortified and I was thousands of miles and months away from the actual situation. “Don’t embarrass the boat” was on repeat like a mantra in my head. Even from what little we saw, I’d say she already crossed that particular Rubicon, but we’ll have to wait and see if she pushes it even further next week.

Full time housewife, mom, and grandma with more opinions than my family can handle, so I share them with the internet instead.

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