Camp Getaway: Spirit Animals Mixed With Too Many Spirits

It is Labor Day Weekend at Camp Getaway and it’s the only four day/three night one they have to contend with. According to Claire and David it’s notoriously difficult to get through intact. So difficult, in fact, that we can only make it through half of it in this episode. Lots to break down here, so let’s get right to it.

Monica has co-opted Nile’s room list idea for the weekend and makes some of her own. She really is lost as to what the beef is, as many of us are. Nile takes the opportunity to pat himself on the back at her following his lead. For a guy only on his fourth week, he really thinks highly of his abilities. Monica just wants to enjoy camp and let it go. She’s just wants to be Monica, or as she reminds us…Dr. Monica in some circles. Speak it, Queen!

Gavin has decided to go all-in messing with Adam by flirting with Sophia. He is pouring it on as thick as molasses and Adam is not taking it well. It doesn’t help that Sophia flirts back. Adam feels like he’s getting mixed messages considering he and Soph text all throughout the week. He looks so forward to seeing her and then doesn’t get the time with her he’s hoping for.

Motto: “Do as I think, not as I say.”

The main guest this week is Teona. She has her own PR firm and is bringing her two besties with her for a weekend of champagne wishes and adventure dreams. Neely feels like they will hit it off well, because Teona declares herself a mix of loving the finer things and nature. Neely even volunteers to lead her on a private nature hike. She’ll soon find out though that Teona is more Randall’s spirit animal than her own, and that what people say they are isn’t always the truth.

It’s the first night of partying and things are already off to a rough start. People are rushing to the med tent and Claire appears to be on a call with either David or 911. All we know at first is that a woman in her late 20’s or early 30’s is unresponsive in her cabin. Neely’s EMT antennae go up and she offers her services, but the girl is already being seen to. Neely is definitely a woman of many talents.

After the ambulance leaves, the coordinators and guests get back to the party. (Good news: the girl is fine and winds up back at camp by the next morning.) Sophia and Gavin continue their flirtation and Adam heads off to bed. He’s over the whole thing entirely. Sophia shows up shortly after and tells him she missed him which he tells her is untrue as he covers his head with a pillow. His hot and cold nature leaves her distressed so she heads to the other room.

Off to a rough start.

Glen is working on a song about life since his dad passed away in January. He’s been writing poetry to get his emotions out, but this is his first attempt at putting it to music. He shared earlier with Neely that it’s really difficult to see his mom dealing with being alone in an empty house. Having been there myself, my heart went out to him.

Sophia is still struggling with Adam’s coldness, so Monica takes her outside for a chat. As much as the other coordinators have bristled at the free therapy, they really ought to take advantage of it. Monica was spot on with her assessment as is verified through all of the confessionals of the parties involved. Soph blows it off though, and decides to end the “session” early.

The next day Neely and Adam take Teona and her friends off for their special nature hike. Neely is excited because she thinks she’s giving them exactly what they want. It turns out she’s only giving them what they said they wanted. What they’re really interested in is selfies and getting hooks for the towels and places to hang their dresses. Real wilderness gurus. Their standards are high for glamping, let alone camping.

Back at camp they are prepping for the night under the stars camp out that Teona says she wants. Tents are erected and a fire ring for s’mores is in place, The coordinators are going to be with them at a ratio of 2 to 1 for the guests’ safety. Wildlife is a real and not just people in costumes like our next activity…the spirit animal party.

Feathers down winner for most apt spirit animal.

I haven’t decided if Nile as a peacock or Claire as a T-Rex wins the “on the nose” award for most accurate choice. Claire does have a bit of a soft side though, so I think Nile takes the gold. Monica looks gorgeous as a goldfish, Soph is a pretty mermaid, and Neely (the nature enthusiast) is a ram horned goat. Randall (who was attending a wedding) arrives mid party dressed in full on leopard print and reminds me of Fran from “The Nanny.”

After the party they all take Teona and her friends over to their camping spot, except for Nile and Glen who get to sleep in the cabin. Randall is not thrilled to be sleeping outdoors after staying in a nice hotel. The whole walk there she’s freaking herself out by coming up with scenario after scenario of what could go wrong. Way to pump up the guests for the experience!

They break out the s’mores and the wine and start to tell ghost stories, at the end of which Nile and Glen pop out of the darkness and scare the dickens out everyone. If it had been a timed sprint, Gavin would have set a new world record. Out of the blue, Teona’s friend Jax decides she doesn’t want to sleep outside afterall. I’d put that on Randall’s disaster theory rundown except for the fact that these women haven’t really wanted to do anything they’ve said. The fire is doused and everyone heads back to the cabins.

The next day the big event is the pub hike. In a non-woodsy setting it’s better known as a pub crawl and the word “crawl” is in there for a reason, which Glen is about to discover. The running tally at the bottom of the screen keeps track for us, and by the time they are finished with the hike, Glen is at 5 drinks. They’re all slow to get “toga-fied” for the Round the World dinner though, and Claire is once again not happy that they are late for their 7:50 call time.

They finally get over there and Neely discovered the way to Teona’s heart. All it took was to scrounge through the camp’s alcohol supply for the best bottle of red wine she could find. Sure would have saved her a lot of time, work, and grief if Teona had just said that at the beginning.

Glen is beyond lit and when glitterfying Teona, accidentally gives her a glitter mustache. Someone really needed to cut him off there, but unfortunately the hill continues to slope downward. All of the coordinators head out to a bonfire after the dance party, but Glen wants to keep drinking and dancing. Sadly it turns into being flat on the floor and then hopping up and making guests uncomfortable. Part 1 ends with David having enough and escorting Glen back to his cabin where he must remain for the rest of the night. Based on the previews, a caged Glen goes a little wild. Hope you’ll join me next week for Part 2.

Full time housewife, mom, and grandma with more opinions than my family can handle, so I share them with the internet instead.

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