Julia and Mike might be the only somewhat-normal people on this season. Julia is definitely TRYING, which is more than most rational people would do when faced with Brandon and his psycho parents. Although she’s (rightfully) terrified of the giant pigs (they’ll eat your babies), she negotiates with the hens and stays calm, even when Brandon’s mom humiliates them both for the hickey on her neck. Mike somehow retains his composure, too, even while Natalie tries to control his eating habits, his drinking habits, and anything else she decides she doesn’t like about him. So what if he thinks God’s an alien? Let the man eat his damn tomahawk steak. Yara and Jovi clearly deserve each other, although we felt bad for Yara after hearing about her miscarriage in Croatia. Stephanie’s cousins are reacting the way the rest of us are, re. Ryan — shaking their heads in disbelief. Rebecca moves into some kind of crazy warehouse, while poor Zied and his family tearfully say goodbye at the airport. Tarik tries to convince Hazel that French toast is breakfast food (Natalie didn’t buy it and neither does she) and wants them to get married in the spiritual center where Edward Cayce’s couch languishes behind velvet ropes. So. Much. Crazy. (Said in Zied’s accent.) Big thanks to Jen for filling in. See you next week!
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