Bankruptcy Bashes, Boob Tape, and Boorish Behavior

Ah, the Garden State. I have to tell you all I had high hopes for this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey, but the plants are either over-watered and yellow or dried to a shriveled-up crisp. Let’s try to break it down and see what we can harvest.

Tragedy is averted when the I.C.E. facility allows Teresa, Gia, and Milania to enter with copies of their IDs. Safe bet that they could have pulled up the Bravo TV app and gotten in if all else had failed. I hate seeing the girls sad, but a visit through glass is better than not seeing their dad.

It was nice to see Dolores’s daughter again. If I had known veterinary school in St. Kitt’s was an option, I might be nuzzling with puppies today. I think Gabrielle is right about David. I just think Dolores is tired of endings and doesn’t want to start from scratch again. Could be wrong, but Chuck Woolery would not be calling that a love connection.

This is the part where I’d talk about Melissa’s fake, “I want another baby” storyline…if I cared.

Joe is being a good brother to Teresa right now. Siblings need to tell each other the hard truths, because they’re our safe places to fall when things get rough. Doesn’t mean he can’t be a meathead, which he proves to be by the end of the episode.

I like Jennifer and Bill together. I’ll confess to not liking him in the past, but I think he may have been more reserved due to his medical practice. He’s honest with her, without being mean about it, which seems to be a rare quality these days.

Jackie and her dad discussing her eating disorder was uncomfortable but necessary. She needed to own that she hid it and can’t expect him to know the extent without all the information. He needed to hear the effect of his callous treatment of the subject. All around, it was a sweet, albeit awkward, moment.

This is where you’ll decide if you want to read my RHONJ blogs again. I’ll understand if you don’t, because it’s the firmest stand I take, with the exception of fake storylines. I can’t with Marge. Not because of Danielle, not because of the weird way her mouth moves, but just because of her. Who throws a party for their business in the midst of a lawsuit? And then to use the same party planner as Melissa with giant vain pictures all over the walls? I.JUST.CAN’T. The vanity is too much without real cause. And by the way, you could use surgical glue, duct tape, and a staple gun, but your boobs are still halfway to your belly button. Don’t kid yourself. Rant over.

Onto the other two conflicts of the night. Jennifer is becoming Ramona with the apologies. I find Ramona entertaining though, because she at least makes it funny afterward. Jennifer walked away, making it worse by talking to crap about Jackie. That said, Jackie actually does need her superiority stick removed from her rectum. She’s a last worder who makes you beg for forgiveness, but will pummel you the whole time you’re trying to make amends. Team Neither for me right now.

Last, but not least, Joe Gorga takes all my goodwill towards him from earlier, throws it in the dumpster with some kerosene, and tosses in a match for good measure. The way he talks about women needing a good lay to make them behave better is beneath even a Neanderthal’s mentality. Stop it with your three swimmers already. Good on Bill for walking away. You showed him how to man up by example.

Don’t forget to check out this week’s podcast:

16 thoughts on “Bankruptcy Bashes, Boob Tape, and Boorish Behavior”

  1. Thanks for making this recap, Jen! I read this while drinking my morning coffee and started my day with laughter! You say what the majority of us think and you say it in a way that doesn’t sound mean spirited , just very, very funny.

  2. Jen, 😊 Great Recap. Loved your opening. & the part abt Joe, he gives his sister good advice (better late than never) Then-totally about face.l…Bang your wife more. CraZy with a K. As for Teresa, anyone else find her to be less & less interesting? I live in SoCal. So these NJ & NY women are so interesting. Example: Jennifer, all about the $$$ πŸ˜‚ They do seem more honest with each other & do get over most things faster, than the west coast FAKE HW shows. Jen, again Spot on. You are witty, & tell it just like it is. πŸ’— Loved it! πŸ’—You!

    1. Thank you so much, Cathy. Krazy is right. Just when you think it’s safe to cheer someone on. He’ll be lucky not to get sued by a bunch of viewers for whiplash. Thanks again for reading and commenting.

  3. As per the usual, I’m totally with you on your assessment, with one little caveat: I’m still firmly team Jennifer. 😬 She amuses me, much like dear old Ramona. Hopefully, you’ll get back on the Jen bus so I won’t be a party of one, out here all alone. πŸ˜‰ I know Jordan and Brianna aren’t changing their minds anytime soon! 🀣 I just finally watched last night, then came straight over to read. You hit the nail on the head, as always. πŸ’― agree with your takes on Marge, Melissa, Joe, etc. So glad you have a space to do a more thorough recap. Love it! πŸ€—

  4. That was a great summary. I still like Marge, although I think k she started the whole Danielle fiasco. I think Marge is just hurt from how Danielle guilted her in the past season about so much and still couldn’t be pleased. And yes, that Joe is truly related to Theresa, as far as speaking out of turn. He had no right approaching Jens husband. He made himself look like a Neanderthal.

    1. That he did. I hadn’t considered the perspective you offered about Marge. That’s a great insight. I’m mostly frustrated because I liked her so much at the beginning. More self deprecating than mean-spirited and more humble. She had a genuineness that I found to be enjoyable and relatable. Now it’s more surface, not unlike many other HWs have turned in the past. I miss Margaret 1.0 and her pigtails. Appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for taking the time.

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