I have to say, the rum helped take the edge off, but what really saved me watching this episode was seeing so many of you agree that Captain Sandy’s and Malia’s treatment of Hannah was despicable. Goodbyes are rarely easy. Hannah has given us years of her life both good and bad. She gave us sass for days and eye rolls and “Hunnay”s too numerable to mention. She was there before Sandy and is part of what hooked many of us into this show. Whether it was to love her or to love to hate her doesn’t matter. She was a force and she was entertainment, and for that I am grateful.
Her life post-BDM is the best kind of revenge. A baby girl on the way, a new podcast, and a new business venture with Anastasia. You’d think it wouldn’t get better than that, but it did. Her leaving on her terms and not giving Sandy and Malia the reactions they were looking for was delicious. Watching Sandy chase her down to dock to berate her with compassion and get nothing was almost as hysterical as watching Sandy lose her crap when the lightbulb went on in her head that she was going to look like the bad guy. As a member of the instant gratification generation that normally is tapping her foot because the microwave is too slow, I truly appreciated karma showing up so quickly.
There was so little drama for them to work with that Malia and Sandy had to keep touching base with each other. We watched Malia with her face all scrunched up waiting for Hannah to go on the attack so she could come at her with her pre-planned talking points. But Hannah didn’t even nibble on the bait. In fact she laughed. It wasn’t like Hannah didn’t know where the blame went. She had already told Jess who she suspected in the cabin. The fact that she had the wherewithal and presence of mind to keep Malia from having a breakout moment was the best parting gift I could have envisioned. So fret not for Hannah, she’s going to be just fine.
As for the remaining crew, I have a few thoughts and ideas. I don’t see a vindictive bone in Jess’s well-sculpted body. She was a good friend to Hannah and from what I’ve seen on social media, she still is. Even Bugsy gets no flack from me as far as this episode goes. She had nothing to do with this turn of events as far as I can tell from the sources I’ve researched. In fact there were moments where I almost felt sorry for her. Not so much so that I won’t be watching closely to see what her table decor looks like when she doesn’t have two hours to put it together though. I’m human afterall.
The male deckhands didn’t rise or fall in my estimation based on their reactions. To my knowledge they weren’t privy to the behind the scenes machinations and their comments seemed authentic based on what little they did know. They’re entitled to their feelings and viewpoints as far as I’m concerned.
Let’s get to those who do bear the brunt of this debacle though. Tom is new to the boat, and I’d normally give a newbie a total pass. However, his repeated comments about how Hannah up and left on the first day of the charter were ire inducing. I find it beyond difficult to believe that as he and Malia shared their new quarters that Malia sent that middle of the night text to Sandy without discussing with him. While my visions of them hovering over a conspiratorial cauldron while rubbing their hands together and laughing maniacally might be an overreach, I don’t think assuming they discussed the potential ramifications is.
It was interesting to see how quickly his classically-trained self melted down though. It took perpetual hovering and criticism from Captain Sandy to break Kiko. Tom seemed set for self-destruct from jump. And speaking of hovering, I’m betting I’m not the only wondering where Sandy’s whirring blades were when the guests were complaining about pieces of shell being in their food as well as being served under-cooked lobster. Bugsy also learned quickly what the phrase out of the frying pan and into the fire meant as she received the heat of Tom’s stress. You know there had to be something wrong with him considering his choice in partners.
As far as Malia goes, I do not want that woman on my television ever again. In both of her seasons she has shown us what a spiteful and self-interested person she is. Being part of a crew requires teamwork and she’s not a team player if things don’t go exactly how she wants them to. I don’t know if it’s youth, an inherent character flaw, or the Peter Principle at play, but she is not cut out for a leadership role. Any major conflict that has arisen has been resolved for her by Sandy. Any fan of the franchise knows that wouldn’t fly on Captain Lee’s boat. I can almost hear him saying, “If I have to do this, what do i need you for?” If Bravo brings her back, I’m done with this sister series of my favorite show. Period. End of story.
It’s not the end of the blog though. Not until the buck stops where it should…with Sandy. People may not agree with me on this, and that’s okay, but I think redemption can be had for her. I don’t want to live in a world where one mistake can cost you everything you’ve worked your whole life to achieve. When you’re young it can be an important lesson that shapes you into a better person. But when you’re older you don’t have the same chance to start anew. Redemption doesn’t come without cost though and in my opinion there’s definitely a price that Sandy needs to pay.
First off, she needs to do more than offer up a vague, “I’m human. I made mistakes.” That’s a cop out. For people to believe that you understand the ramifications of what you did, you need to detail those mistakes. She needs to specifically acknowledge where she fell short, assess how she can avoid making the same mistake in the future, and implement those changes in how she manages her ship. Without doing that, the trust that seemed so vital to her in her talk with Hannah cannot be repaired with the audience.
She also needs to educate herself on mental health issues. The stereotypes she put forth last night of OD-ing, flushing evidence, calling them drugs versus medication, acting like a panic attack makes you unfit to do your job…all of those were extremely harmful to any sufferer. The stigma surrounding mental illness is already difficult to surmount. Her carelessness and flippancy added to the problem. She needs to rectify that by learning more and sharing how that knowledge changed her perception through advocacy. For me this is a non-negotiable. I’m tired of people with platforms using them to make things worse rather than better. Step out of your own ego and recognize the pain you’ve caused however inadvertently it might have come about.
Last but not least, Bravo needs to step up and do better. We saw from the trailer that production has heard the audience and is trying to keep them by feeding them all of the bad things that are going to happen as if karma has already visited and there’s no need to do more. That’s not good enough. As a network you need to use your power and influence to stop perpetuating harm on the audience whose backs you built your ratings on. Know better and do better.
With all of that out of the way, I’m guessing that next week we’ll be facing another new normal with these bizarre guests and maybe the introduction to the new 2nd stew. A familiar face to anyone who’s previously watched, but I won’t spoil the surprise for those who haven’t found out yet. Until then, my friends! XOXO