Below Deck Sailing: Hot Heads in Hot Water

I’m going to serve it to you straight. I don’t know whether to pity Jenna at this point or let my eyes roll out of my head in exasperation at her low expectations in a relationship. We pick up with Adam storming out over the Johann situation, and I get that he’s triggered. After the Wes and Malia triangle, he wants to avoid drama. This isn’t apples and apples though. This is a past relationship, not a current love triangle and his reaction seems more than a little cavemanesque and territorial.

Jenna beseeching Georgia to lie on her behalf to not upset the coitus cart is just as disturbing. If you’re relying on falsehoods this early in a relationship…you ain’t soulmates. The fact that she feels sorry for her dad who had temper issues rather than her mom who was on the receiving end of them speaks volumes. Add to that the fact that she’s fully aware how messed up it is and just doesn’t feel like changing her bad patterns is just sad. Not in the boohoo kind of way either, but the pathetic one.

Temper Tantrums Are For Toddlers

The next morning Adam is in apology mode. Jenna eats it up like gourmet gelato, and I’m getting second-hand nausea. Paget and Parker are off to set up another beach picnic and I’m finally seeing what the crew has been seeing all along with Parker. He can’t help but talk back regardless of what is said. He not only doesn’t pick his battles, he’ll rile himself up over skirmishes and mere tiffs. Maybe his mom overdid it on the motivational quotes. It’s one thing to have confidence in your abilities, but it’s another to act like no one knows what they’re doing except for you. Temper tantrums are not the atmosphere guests are looking for.

When Jenna arrives (she’s doing physical labor, y’all!) Parker’s attitude spirals even further out of control. Paget decides that the best course is to swap him out for Ciara, and I have to agree. The picnic goes off without a hitch, and without clothes even for the co-primary. She was considerate enough to cover her hoohaw with a starfish. I appreciate demure women.

Madison is doing an excellent job of holding her tongue this charter and Jenna takes notice that she’s stepping up her game. So how does Jenna reward this behavior? By taking Ciara and Georgia for a swim after they breakdown the picnic set up. I wish I was kidding, but I’m not. She did ask for Glenn’s approval first, but don’t think it slipped by me that she only asked for permission for her and Ciara. Jenna at this point is just a giant middle finger to everything decent. I don’t know how Madison put up with it.

Straight Up Angel Working for a Demon Chief

After her refreshing swim, you’d think some of Jenna’s crap stirring ways would’ve washed off, but her first order of business is to drag Parker to Captain Glenn. Admittedly Parker deserved it, but at this point anything Jenna does is going to annoy me. Even when she deigned to compliment Madison for doing a good job on the cabins, it was too little too late for me. I don’t believe in rewarding people for doing once what they should be doing regularly without prompting.

Glenn finally gets around to having a conversation with Parker after he’s spoken to Paget twice and Jenna once. He expressed the need for Parker to get his attitude in check and asks him what he thinks he could have done differently. Parker gave the perfect response and said, “Keep my mouth shut and do my job.” Captain Glenn lets him know that whether Parker stays on is completely up to him.

Parker then goes off to console himself with his ex-girlfriend Kaiti’s voice and winds up doing his best Paul Macarelli impression in the process. Well, at least the early 2000’s version before Paul jumped ship from Verizon to Sprint. In the end Kaiti couldn’t hear him now and wound up texting him later to not be a grinch, that his heart was too big.

Since Paul is with Sprint now, maybe Parker can have his old job

As if things couldn’t get worse for Parker at this point, he oversleeps and is late for anchor watch. The timing could not be worse…pun intended. It doesn’t help that Ciara told Paget that Parker didn’t even explain why, but just said he was sorry. We clearly saw the text Ciara, so whether it was a short term memory lapse on her part, or if working an extra twenty minutes was just that exhausting is undetermined.

As they prepare to dock, Parker is struggling again, this time with maneuvering the tender. This is all reminding me of the children’s book “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” Except this time it’s stretched into two days. Glenn watches as Parker makes a scene in front of the guests and is not pleased. He feels like Parker just isn’t getting it.

Once docked, the guests disembark and leave a fat envelope of cash in their wake. Glenn sounds the horn to usher them off and the crew changes clothes and convenes in the saloon for the tip meeting. Eighteen grand is nothing to sneeze at and they’re all happy to pocket $2000 a piece. Glenn isn’t happy with Parker though and calls him to the Jenna-and-Adam-tainted master for a talk. Throughout the conversation both with Glenn, and again when Paget joins, Parker can’t shut up to save his life…or maybe even his job. We’ll have to wait until next week to see if he dug the hole too deep to climb out of. I hope you’ll join me then!

4 thoughts on “Below Deck Sailing: Hot Heads in Hot Water”

  1. THIS EPISODE!!!! Jenna is a freakin’ enabler of the grossest order. That is exactly how to empower abusers, which is what I suspect Adam is with that kind of pathological jealousy!

    And Parker: “I was a Sassy Sally today.” “I was a grumpy pants” today. SERIOUSLY?

    The longer this goes on, the more I just wish I could throw Madison a life ring and get her off of there.

    I am very glad we decided not to do a podcast about this show!

    Loved the art in this blog…”temper tantrums…” LOL

    1. If we had podcasted, it would just be a half hour of me griping about Jenna and Adam every week. LOL (And yes, the baby talk from Parker on the phone was cringe-worthy.)

  2. One more comment: last night on WWHL @ home, Andy was asking Captain Glenn (who, by the way, is quarantining on that same boat!) how he felt about Jenna and Adam “christening” the master cabin. He did not look too happy about it, although he was pretty nonchalant. Ew.

    1. Did he lighten up on his opinion of Madison at all? I’ve yet to see him retract his position and I’m curious with hindsight if he realizes Jenna was snowing him.

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