Below Deck Sailing Yacht: One Flew the Crow’s Nest

It’s decision making time when it comes to whether Parker stays or goes, but who’s going to make the call? Glenn is clearly not thrilled with how Parker is responding to criticism, but he says he prefers to give people ownership of their decisions rather than lead by fear. That would be a great philosophy if those were the only two options. It seems like there is a wide spectrum of choices in between, much like there’s an array of monikers for your department heads aside from calling them gods, but I digress. So rather than make the decision for him, Glenn and Paget leave the master stateroom to give Parker the time to contemplate and master his own fate.

While the Jeopardy theme music wasn’t spliced in, you could feel the countdown nonetheless. Whispers abound among the crew as to whether Parker will be fired. The invisible hourglass drops its last grain of sand and Parker radios Glenn to return to the cabin. Parker has decided that for his own well-being, he needs to resign. Glenn is relieved, because he feels he would have had to make the same decision.

Like sands through the hourglass…

It’s funny how now that he’s leaving, some of the crew want to throw in how disappointed they are. Paget complains about how much time he invested, and Ciara also says she’s disappointed that Parker didn’t stick it out. I personally would never have expected their responses considering how they did everything they could to bring up his shortcomings.

Once Parker disembarks, the hunt for a replacement is on and it’s amazing how quickly Captain Glenn finds one. It makes me wonder if they don’t have backups organized by production on standby. How cool of a gig would that be to get a per diem and hang out in a hotel in Greece just in case?

The crew goes out for dinner and Madison and Georgia are the only Team Parker people left on the crew, but Madison is the only one who sticks up for him. Georgia is putting into practice Jenna’s “sage” yachting advice with is “Shut your mouth.” The couples and Byron head back to the ship, while Madison and Georgia stay out on the town. Jenna and Adam take advantage of the guest-free boat and use the opportunity to defile the master yet again. Apologies. None of you deserved that visual.

The next morning the new deckhand arrives, ostensibly from London, but you know my theory already. His name is Christopher Miller, and based on his social media pictures they crew thought they were in for a hairier version of Parker. In reality, if you tousle his hair a little and add a pair of black-framed glasses, he looks more like Jemaine Clement grabbed a flight in on the Conchord. Chris is a seasoned deckhand and has been sailing since 2011. He seems like a positive enough fellow, so hopefully deck crew drama is a thing of the past.

Cheers if you got the Flight of the Conchords reference!

Captain Glenn calls the gang in for a preference sheet meeting and we’re introduced to the next charter guests. Lyndi Kennedy is a self described “well known influencer” and blogger. Having never heard of her, I did some research and she has about 258,000 followers on Instagram. In a world of 7 billion people, I don’t know that I’d make that claim, but then again, I’m not an influencer.

Madison makes the mistake of complaining about Adam and Jenna within earshot of Adam. The honeymoon phase Madison experienced last charter of being acknowledged for her work has fast-forwarded to Divorce Court. Adam (a hypocrite of the highest order considering he talks about EVERYBODY) is now on a mission to make her pay. Who better for him to get than his attached at the hip girlfriend? Jenna comments that now that Madison has inserted herself in Jenna’s personal life, that Madison needs to be punished. She decides to put Georgia on service more and stick Madison in the cabins and the laundry. Were I Madison, I’d relish the opportunity to only have to do what Georgia does. Peace and quiet and not working directly with Jenna have their advantages.

The guests arrive and there should be a “so cute” counter at the bottom of the screen. Apparently in Orange County, that’s the extent of adjective usage. They’re barely on the boat for a half hour before Jenna’s hackles stand on end. You see, one of the objects of their “so cute” affection is Adam. Within seconds of mentioning his name, she’s muttering under her breath that they need to stop talking about him. And this, my friends, is why jealous people shouldn’t date co-workers.

SO CUTE!

I had to chuckle a little bit at Ciara trying to show Chris the ropes on the ship. Fortunately he’s kind enough not to point out to her that the things she’s attempting to teach are the basics. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if he knows more than she does. Paget thinks Chris is his knight in shining armor. One thing that Paget didn’t take into account though is that when you’re being compared to a greenie like Parker, you look amazing. However, when you’re being compared to someone who is as good or better than you, your luster takes on a more realistic patina.

This is proven out when Captain Glenn decides to angle the stern of the boat towards town to give the influencers more picturesque views for their snaps. Paget is busy talking and not watching as he nauti-buoys crash into the rocks. He instantly gets agitated by his gaffe and Captain Glenn starts seeing shades of Parker in Paget’s behavior.

Speaking of Parker, we’re transported underwater to a nearby island to see him and Kaiti scuba-diving. We see him serenading her with one of his original songs and then get to witness his underwater proposal. Mazel Tov to the happy couple. Go off and enjoy the earth, its people, nature and animals, and stuff.

A wordless proposal was probably best, right?

We close out the show with a dinner under the lights and a relationship feeling the heat. Lyndi’s boyfriend Jesse is quite possibly even less thrilled with the attention Lyndi’s giving Adam than Jenna is, and that’s saying something. We’ll have to wait until next week to see if they make up and if she accepts his proposal, or if she holds true to what she said earlier about OC women boring of men easily. Hope to see you then!

Full time housewife, mom, and grandma with more opinions than my family can handle, so I share them with the internet instead.

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