Below Deck Sailing Yacht: Whistling Up the Wind

In all honesty I expected this episode to open with Adam furiously leaving the master stateroom and heading back to his bunk. Or with Jenna doing the same if she found a self-respecting version of herself deep down in the recesses of her brain. But no, we’re treated to snippets of them bickering over a period of two hours before catching 15 of the 40 winks they needed to be actual functioning members of the crew.

The next morning they sneak back to their bunks and bring an air of tension with them that suffocates any possible joy for the day while prepping for the next charter. Madison (not surprisingly) is working and so are Paget and Ciara. Jenna’s version of work involves passive aggressively clanging mugs together while she attempts to hang them on hooks, and then climbing over Adam and other crew mess furniture to appear busy. Georgia and Chris aren’t really even feigning work, as they’re busy prepping for their fish spa date.

Byron doesn’t think Chris or anyone has a chance with Georgia unless their name rhymes with “gadget.” Paget also thinks they aren’t a match and shares in a confessional that Georgia needs someone with similar interests, like music perhaps, and someone who gets her sense of humor. We didn’t even need the awkward silence at the end of his confessional to realize he was describing himself. The date is relatively uneventful, as we’ve seen this done on multiple Bravo shows. Georgia thinks Chris is great, but admits to herself and the camera that she’s infatuated with Paget depite the inconvenient issue named Ciara. Looks like Byron and Paget were both right.

Romantic!

As if the tension back on the boat wasn’t already palpable, the editors treat us to cutaways of Adam sharpening knives. Sure chefs do that regularly, but there is definitely something more sinister feeling about it when your brain is dubbing in all the nasty things he said the night before.

Georgia either decides to do Adam and Jenna a solid and distract attention away from them, or she’s genuinely remorseful as she confesses to Madison about sharing the information about Madison’s sister’s murder. My last blog may seem prophetic, but it was really just common sense to expect Madison would be upset, as it’s the normal human reaction to betrayal. It was not Georgia’s story to tell and she should have kept her mouth shut. Even though Madison was extremely hurt by it and needed a minute, she recovered quickly and made the first move to clear the air and forgive Georgia. She’s what my mom would call “a good egg.”

The primaries for the next charter are decades-long friends Kerry & Dino. Kerry has Stage 4 cancer and is no longer in remission, so the crew wants to pull out all of the stops to make it the trip of a lifetime. It’s not off to a good start though when Adam goes to the dock to pick up his provisions and has an absolute meltdown over frozen tuna. I get that chefs have exacting standards and fresh is always better than frozen, but he definitely had his Gordon Ramsey brand knickers in twist.

Often imitated…never duplicated.

Captain Glen witnessed the meltdown and chalks it up to rocky relationship waters as he’s more than aware of all of the coupling up going on. He decides to give Adam some space, because in his words, “Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.” Pretty sure Confucius said that first, or if not, he should have. Although I’m not sure that’s the best leadership move especially considering in addition to the knife sharpening, we are now witness to baguette tossing and glass breaking as a result.

Outside the crew sees a murder of crows flocking around one of the masts. Despite a “crow’s nest” being a thing, this apparently is a bad omen. Glen lists two others as being whistling on board, as it’s said to whistle up the wind, and having bananas on board. Cue those genius editors again as they show Adam whistling and unpacking bananas. This should be fun!

The guests want as much time sailing as possible and the wind is at 12 knots, so the deck crew obliges and the sails go up. One of the guests seems disappointed that they don’t go up by hand, but this is a yacht dude, not some rinky-dink vessel. Anything that can be mechanical…is, including Jenna’s personality. All of a sudden the wind jumps from 12 to 24 knots and the heel of the boat shifts from 18 percent to 27. Which basically means that furniture is flying everywhere and land lubbers like myself get a pit in their stomachs. Editing is at it again and shares and amazing shot of Adam whistling in the galley with a whiteboard in frame that says “Don’t be a bonehead.” Geniuses, every last one of them.

Round of applause for the editors, please!

Captain Glen rights the ship, literally, but not before a leak springs up and sprays oil all over the deck. Those crows weren’t kidding after all. While clean up commences, the guests are whisked away to a more protected cove so that they can go swimming. While Madison is off taking care of the guests, Jenna is in her bunk writing love notes to Adam to make things all better again. UGH. She’s a whole “what not to do when dating” handbook, and I don’t think she realizes it, even after her Ziploc bag of love is met with crickets by Adam.

The guests are back on board, and are some of the most helpful ones I’ve seen, as they’ve even brought decorations for the table. Despite Adam’s distraction, he appears to be on his game and serving up great food. He’s also pulled off a from-scratch birthday cake for one of the guests. It’s been requested that a shirtless crew member delivers it, and the honor goes to Paget. He sees it as torture though, because he was a heavy-set kid growing up and he still has residual body issues because of it.

He heads to the laundry to discuss his panic with Georgia, only to find her mid lyric singing, “I will make you love me if that’s the last thing I do.” Super awkward. I feel like I’m watching a sea-faring version of Cheaters. And to add to it, of all the places Paget can get his flex on to make his muscles be at peak bulge for cake serving, he chooses to do push ups in front of the laundry room. I’d love to have a Zoom watch party with Ciara as these episodes are airing.

If a woman had been asked to do this, we’d be honked off

Jenna, showing again that work is an anathema when there are personal matters to attend to, puts Georgia on service when she’s supposed to be singing and steals Adam away for yet another, “Why are you emotionally unavailable” chat. Dante needs to add another circle of hell exclusively for their scenes. It’s draining enough to watch, so it must be exhausting to live.

Next week we’re being teased with an actual sit-down between Glen and Jenna. Considering Glen operates on some newly created five strike rule, I doubt she’s going anywhere, unless it’s of her own volition. If her relationship with Adam has taught us anything, it’s that she’s not the quitting type. Hope to see you then!

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