Below Deck – Sunshine and the No Good Very Bad Day

We open where last week left off, with Eddie going to his cabin to get sunscreen only to find a slumbering Shane (donned with a Do Not Disturb mask and cuddling a Snorlax Pokemon doll) and leaving the cabin in a huff. Brianna and I pondered on the podcast last week why Eddie didn’t wake him up. Eddie answered it for us this week by saying it wasn’t worth him wasting his energy. I’ll tell you this, he’s much kinder than I am. I would’ve have dragged Sunshine out by his feet and let his head conk on the floor hoping it would knock some sense into him. Eddie had other penance in mind and it shows he’s a better at bosuning than I ever could be.

What was probably my favorite moment in the show came via text from Captain Lee’s lovely bride Mary Anne. She sent him a picture of the two of them with the caption, “Your favorite stew, just so you don’t forget.” How adorable is that after 45 years of marriage? I love their love and so did Rachel and Elizabeth when he shared the text with them. It made Rachel so warm and fuzzy she had to call her boyfriend Vincenzo just to say I love you. I have to wonder if Stevie Wonder gets residuals when that happens?

Kate comes a close second, but Mary Anne will always be his favorite Chief Stew

It’s preference sheet meeting time and the primaries are Tim and Beth from Illinois. They’ll be celebrating Tim’s 50th while aboard and want Beluga caviar and also want a beach barbecue. Can the crew redeem themselves after the last picnic disaster? We shall see. We also got another answer to one of my unending list of questions: whether or not My Seanna has a slide. As a matter of fact it does, and it will make its first appearance this season at the primary’s request.

Sunshine finally rises at 6:22pm, so maybe he thinks he’s in Alaska and he’s actually five and a half hours early for the Land of the Midnight Sun. What he wakes up to though is the beginning of his punishment for literally sleeping on the job. First up is cleaning the water line on the boat. It may seem like a fun way to get in the water, but per Izzy’s tweet ” marina water is a mixture of excrement, fuel, rubbish and all other types of nasties! ” Sounds like Eddie rivals Mel Gibson when it comes to Payback. {If you’re lost with that reference, look it up on IMDb.)

We’re three charters in, so real personality traits are starting to come out. Francesca may have been all smiles and support up until now, but the slack that’s been cut is now taut and and making things tense. When it comes to her relationship with Elizabeth, the tension is derived from the mess factor. I have to be honest, that utensil drawer triggered me. I’m an “a place for everything and everything in its place” type gal. Disorganization leads to mistakes. So while I don’t think the guests will ever see it, it’s a way to prevent slowing down service if you cut out having to rifle through a mess to find what you’re looking for. Elizabeth with her easy-breezy sensibility doesn’t see what the big deal is. But in Francesca’s defense, the producers even broke the 4th wall in Liz’s confessional to get her to admit she was messy.

The next bit of wrong-way-rubbing is less black and white to me though. I’m not much of a swearer. I was raised in a household where it wasn’t permitted and it stuck. However, my husband swears like a sailor and I’m not the least bit offended by it. Francesca apparently is and made sure to point out Rachel’s propensity for profanity while categorizing herself as more refined. True, Rachel does seem to whip out effing things in the mouth quite a bit, but I feel like it’s genuinely her manner of speech. I’m all for live and let live, and not being judgy in the process. So swear away if it makes you happy, Rachel.

Bunnies going in holes seems like a fitting teaching method.

Izzy was showing us how team players work and was giving Shane tips on how to succeed as a deck hand and get back in Eddie’s good graces. Not napping on the job is a given, but she also encouraged him to take more initiative, which he immediately did. He asked Eddie what he could help with next while Eddie was in a meeting with Rachel and Francesca and let’s just say that timing might be another thing he needs to work on. I’m not sure I liked Eddie scolding him in front of the ladies, but at the same time I get it. Chalking it up to frustration for now.

As we waited for the crew to greet the charter guests it was clear to everyone, including Captain Lee, that Izzy was struggling with something. He decided to ask and almost immediately regretted it when he was served a plate of TMI about camel toe. Oh, Izzy. I was mortified and laughing hysterically at the same time as Captain Lee covered his face with his radio. She may be on the exterior crew now, but she’s still serving when it comes to awkwardness and giggles.

The guest prove their Midwestern bona fides by being thrilled that they’ll be getting cheese ball for a snack. That, my friends, is the point at which I need you to associate them no further with the rest of us in flyover country. Tim’s insult about the imitation crab at lunch showed me that these are not my people. That level of arrogance is not standard fare here, not to mention that he was wrong. He probably killed his palate with all of the champagne, Ketel One, and Whispering Angel he imbibed. Fortunately cranky baby pants went down for a nap and his friends and wife were able to enjoy some unencumbered water sports fun. The guest wanting a call button on the Jacuzzi for an emergency beer is sadly very Midwestern and I have to cop to it.

It’s time for dinner and Tim showed up in a hideous pair of flag pants. I know nothing about fashion, but my friend Jesus on Twitter said it looks like he spent all of his money on the yacht and couldn’t afford nice pants. Aside from horrendous taste in trousers, he also thought he could jump in and grab a fish out of the water. Thankfully his wife Beth was there to stop him. I felt so bad for her. She was trying to curtail his bad behavior and think for him through the whole episode. He’s so beyond drunk that he can’t even make it to the main course during dinner. He’s either way over his limit or narcoleptic.

Jesus…this one’s for you, buddy.

Cut to Shane journaling his feelings. To be honest, I thought he was writing Eddie an apology letter at first and was kind of proud of him for taking the time. When I realized it was a “Dear Diary” moment, my respect waned. I have zero problem with journaling in and of itself, I just think it’s important to speak the thoughts and epiphanies you’re having and not just write them down to collect dust in an attic as your written legacy.

Shane’s continued penance is having the late shift. It looked for a minute like things were really starting to click with him. That is until he left the lazarette door open all night. I didn’t notice it until my second viewing, but Izzy even reminded him to shut it before she went to bed. In the morning Eddie equated it to leaving your house unlocked. My house isn’t in the middle of the Caribbean sea, but I guess raiding is a real thing and it adds yet another black mark on Shane’s already entirely black sheet of construction paper. Not sure if it was noble or idiotic for him to tell on himself to Captain Lee, but it’s water under the bridge now and that bridge might be aflame by the end of the charter with Sunshine on the land side of it.

This beach picnic was a very different story than the last one. Whether that had something to do with Ashling setting it up versus Elizabeth is unclear, but Ashling has major stew game. A different kind of stewing was happening in the galley though. Remember me saying from jump that Rachel had a little flicker of psycho behind her eyes. Well, toot toot. (Me tooting my own horn.) She was completely displeased with the interior’s lack of assistance with getting her food to the tender. In fairness, Francesca was with the guests, Ashling was on the beach, and Liz was sprucing up the rooms, and then she was called to make last minute pina coladas for the guests. Izzy wound up assisting, but Rachel’s hair was already on fire and no one was putting it out. In fact, she was ready to punch someone in the face.

The guests had a great time though and were none the wiser about the beginning of Rachel’s descent into madness. I say beginning, because boy howdy does it get worse. She discovers that what she thought was Petrossian caviar is actually salmon roe. Big difference. There’s also a difference between the Petrossian caviar and the Beluga he requested, but who am I to nitpick? Anyway, Rachel has gone from wanting to punch someone’s face, to changing targets to a male’s dangly bits and I don’t think we’ve seen anything yet.

Next week might be Sunshine’s last voyage, unless the editors are teasing us again. In the previews Cap and Eddie have a talk and Shane gets the dreaded “Come to the bridge” call. We might be in for an explosion and a firing. Hope you’ll join me for it!

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