Drunken Divo Disaster

We start our voyage on Below Deck Sailing Yacht right where we left off…unmarried drunks requesting what else? Shots of tequila. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: I will never understand the desire to get so inebriated that you miss the truly intoxicating sights and sounds of a magical vacation like this.

As the guests drink, dinner prep is underway and there’s even some breakfast prep thrown in. Chief engineer Byron is my favorite type of crew member—willing to help out in any capacity. He doesn’t let ego or rank get in the way and happily juices oranges for the interior. He also made my day by giving me a new moniker for Jenna. He mistakenly calls her Jeza, and my mind is drawn to Jezebel, a name synonymous with controlling women. Controlling is an understatement with Jenna though. She sent both Madison and Georgia to do turn-downs so she could have total control of service. Madison is called up later to be a glorified walking platter.

The next day, plans are in full swing to create an impromptu tying of the not-so- nautical knot between drunk and drunker. Someone really needs to develop a non-alcoholic tequila that tastes and smells like the real thing that the crew can serve to guests who don’t know their tolerance levels. Madison continues to be my most quotable favorite when she delivers the line of the night, “On a scale of drunk to blackout, guy is already a drunk white b!tch on the floor of a bathroom.” Are spirit animals still a thing? If so she’s mine.

Credit given where it’s due, Jenna pulled the wedding requests practically out of thin air. In no time flat, she had a selection of dresses, hair and makeup, and entertainment. She’s a control freak, but talented at her job. Another multitalented crew member is Captain Glenn. Seeing him hoisted up to rig the sails was impressive. He also did a great job of de-escalating the drunken spat between the lovebirds over what does or doesn’t constitute too long of a shower. I bet if it was tequila flowing through the showerhead, an hour wouldn’t be nearly long enough for him.

We’re treated to a little backstory on Georgia, who is using yachting as a way to pay the bills and pave her way to her true dream, which is singing. She has a nice voice and it certainly beats the pants off of the normal moaning and complaining we hear from the laundry room.

The entertainment arrives and a Greek feast is prepared by Adam. And that lovely wedding the crew worked so hard to pull off? Canceled and replaced with passive-aggressive donning and doffing of laurel wreaths in its place. Such is life in the world of yachting apparently, but at least the primary recognized the crew for their efforts by giving them a whopping $20K tip. Not a bad end to the maiden charter, for sure.

That’s not the end of the show, though. Captain Glenn treats them to dinner out and they seem to be gelling as a unit, except possibly for the daggers Ciara is flinging in Georgia’s direction as Paget dares laugh at her jokes. Back on the boat for a jacuzzi sing-a-long, then everyone heads off to bed—two of them appear to head for the same one. Do we have our first boatmance? We’ll have to wait and see.

Be sure to check out Brianna and Jordan’s first impressions of Below Deck Sailing Yacht on this week’s bonus podcast: https://apple.co/3bwTyuo

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