Endings and Beginnings

It may seem odd to start blogging at the end of a season, but if you live by the “when one door closes, another opens” adage, you roll with the tides.

As Below Deck Thailand wraps up, we see the aftermath of Kevin’s cake conCOCKtion, and it’s everything we’ve come to expect this season. Nothing is Kevin’s fault; it’s all Kate’s in his mind. While she did play a role in not advising him the primary had gone to bed, she had no way of knowing that the discussion with Cap had turned meaningful and serious. Call me a Kate apologist all you want, but Kevin has had karma coming for a while now.

The last charter guests leave Valor with hugs, a great tip, and even a blush from Captain Lee. A great group to end with, and I wish I would have followed them down the pier, instead of witnessing the madness of the cast’s private island party.

The setting looked magical, with fire dancers and lady boys on a private beach. The Valor name being set ablaze was all the foreshadowing we needed. Kevin has no clue what does or doesn’t make a good chief stew, so his opinion means d!ck cake to me. Kate returning it in kind should be expected.

Courtney caves to her inner hopeful Holly and falls back into Brian’s eight pack, while Rhylee tells Simone how Kate needs to learn to take constructive criticism. Considering the source, that’s Kardashian-level rich.

Tanner (showing yet again that he has no game–Jiminy Crickets) defends Kevin to Kate and still expects to land his sea plane. Nosedive, bud. Kate shuts it down faster than flights in and out of China and sits alone staring at the sea. Whether it’s the past or the future she’s envisioning, she gets sand in her eye as a parting gift from an out-of-control Kevin. As the episode title suggests, big girls do cry, especially when projectile particles are kicked their way.

Brian seems like a stand-up guy in the moment, but quickly reverts to “brü” when they’re on the tender back, taking any hope for redemption from me with him.

One more night in the bunks and they all go their separate ways, except for the fact that they’re probably all headed to the same hotel or flights. It ends appropriately, with Captain Lee and Kate as the final two on board. The only two that have consistently kept me watching all these seasons. I’ll sink on a ship with them, rather than jumping to the safety of a floating piece of flotsam.

Immediately afterward, we’re introduced to Below Deck Sailing Yacht. It’s way too early to tell, but it didn’t make me nearly as seasick as I thought it would.

First impressions: Madison seems like we’ve flash-forwarded from the final episode of Toddlers & Tiaras to see the effects of pixie stix diets on energy. My kind of crazy. Georgia seems great and self-deprecating, while Jenna is giving me Return of Adrienne vibes. We’ll have to wait and see though. I hope you’ll join us on the voyage.

Be sure to check out this week’s podcast: Is It Farewell For These OGs

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