Real Housewives of New York City: I Could Pick You Out In A Bitter Betty Line Up

With the pandemic still ongoing I’ve been hearing rumblings of an impending apocalypse. I’m not saying the rumors are true, but if they are, Ramona being the most accepting in the group of Leah might be the first sign. What is happening this season? Everything is topsy-turvy and I feel like after 12 seasons, I don’t know these women at all!

The show opens with Tinsley and Sonja being ridiculously rude to their waitress by not even acknowledging her existence for several minutes. I’m not saying you have to stop mid-sentence, but you don’t waited until you’ve ended your whine-riddled soliloquy either. Leah arrives and it’s time for a get to know you session between her and Sonja. Leah mentions that she’s getting a tattoo removed, and it just so happens that it’s a tramp stamp of her name. Katy bar the door, you’d think she’d just confessed to being a member of the Manson family as far as Sonja was concerned.

I have been a card-carrying Sonja defender for a decade now since she arrived on scene. I’ve excused her drunken antics, her delusions of grandeur, her abundance candles, her Nigerian football team nonsense, and her never appearing toaster oven. I don’t want to turn in my card, but if she makes this her line in the sand, I’m burning it.

Don’t make me burn it, Sonja!

Luann and Ramona are also meeting up for lunch, and Ramona can’t get past the bar without dropping her digits to some rando. I can always at least count on that. When she finally makes it to the table the chit-chat turns to Luann wanting a boyfriend. Ramona told Lu that she needs to storyboard it. I’m pretty sure she meant vision board, unless there’s a movie coming out about her adventures in dating. I couldn’t help but envision what was on it aside from what she shared. Including a rich man with the ability to listen, but no desire to speak might not be a bad bet.

Talk turns to Ramona’s girls’ weekend in the Hamptons and Ramona is keen on giving Lu the biggest quarters with her own bathroom and even a separate entrance to avoid any fish room redux. Luann insists that it doesn’t matter to her, but readily takes Ramona up on her offer based on the description.

Just when I thought I was going to like Tinsley this season, we’re “treated” to a snippet of her with Strawberry and Shortcake, her rescue dogs from China. I’m a skeptic by nature, and somehow I doubt that two full breed pups who walk in unison and speak Chinese were on a meat truck. I’m okay with being proven wrong, it just seems too suspiciously PC.

Girls’ weekend has arrived and everyone trickles into Ramona’s house starting with Sonja and Dorinda. Dorinda comes bearing gifts of flowers, vibrators, and a Frozee’ machine. I’m almost afraid to watch the rest of the episode after that combo. We then find out that the Queen of Pinot Grigio has given up wine! What is happening in the world, and can someone stop it so I can get off?

Do you miss us now, Lu?

Luann arrives next and Ramona escorts her to her palatial quarters in the basement lower level. You would think Ramona had set her up in a dumpster by the way Lu was reacting to it. I wouldn’t exactly call it cozy, but I’d take it over the Jack & Jill beds any day of the week. It’s the fish room all over again, despite Ramona’s efforts, and Luann can’t stop muttering her displeasure under her breath.

Up in the nicest guest room, Dorinda is on the phone discussing repairs for Blue Stone Manor with her contractor. Apparently there was flooding and restoration costs are mounting, as is the stress Dorinda’s carrying on her shoulders. She feels “nerved up,” overwhelmed, and just not her carefree self anymore. Sonja (who’s spent the last several years in that very mode) is quick to sympathize with Dorinda’s plight.

Someone who is not so flush with sympathy is Leah, who is on the receiving end of Dorinda’s barbed tongue. Apparently tattoos are a kidnapper’s trademark in Dorinda’s world and she gives Leah a fair amount of condescension and jabs about hers. As the bearer of a few myself, I wouldn’t kidnap this version of Dorinda if you paid me. I miss the old Dorinda, and if I had a receipt I’d happily return this one to the high horse it belongs on.

As Ramona points out later, Sonja has gone from stirring the drink to stirring the pot as she takes all of Leah’s frustrations immediately up to Dorinda who then makes it anything but nice. She may not be able to pick Leah out of a lineup, but I could pick her out of a Bitter Betty one in a nanosecond. I have to agree with Leah, hostile is the best word to describe it. Even to the point of invading Leah’s personal space to try to verbally cut her off at the knees. Thankfully they all head out to dinner before it comes to actual blows.

When they get to the restaurant, Ramona is mixing and mingling right away Sonja in an attempt to be quotable deems her “Social-heavy” instead of socialite. This isn’t news to anyone who’s been watching Ramona post-divorce, but apparently it’s going to be a storyline this year because Dorinda and Luann get on her as well at the table about not being present. They have no problem with her scoping the venue for men though. I, on the other hand, have a serious problem with the upside-down hair flip in the middle of the restaurant. Um, gross.

We’ll have to wait until next week to see if Ramona uncovered any man-gems. And I’m also on pins and needles wondering what prompts Luann’s premature departure. I hope you’ll join me!

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