Madness, mayhem, maniacal screaming…this episode had it all! It started off with a return phone call from Lu after bailing in the middle of the night, insisting that they all know she’s not a spoiled brat. By the expressions on their faces, I’m not sure that ranks in common knowledge as highly as mud being dirty. The Apologizer is in full force, though, and avoids the opportunity to take a jab, but rather begs Luann to return. Lu relents, but lets them know that she will not be staying the night. She is excited to get her revenge on the tennis court, however.
Leah is still trying to get to know everyone and is looking for feedback from Tinsley on Sonja. In her mind, if you have to explain to everyone why you weren’t a trophy wife…you were probably a trophy wife. Tinsley agrees that Sonja doesn’t let anything go which is sad to Leah. She feels like in the short time she’s known Sonja, she’s learned more about her past life than her current one. Welcome to our world, Leah. The sooner you come to accept that, the easier your road will be.
Adriano the tennis pro arrives and Ramona wants to get some practice in before Luann arrives. I personally think she just wanted one on one time with Adriano, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone. Luann sidling up to him the moment she got there and speaking Italian shouldn’t either. They’re both shameless flirts and in case we had rocks where our brains should be, Dorinda is quick to point out the real motive as well. I’m not sure if Ramona’s tennis skills have tanked since Mario left, but I remember her being a lot better at it when she was playing against Jill. Maybe she was going for the damsel in distress role in front of Adriano, but either way…Luann won handily.
While grilling lunch, Ramona really starts to go in on Leah. First off, Leah helped set the tables, which is more than most of them did, so to criticize her for not putting out the silverware when she did everything else is a little much. But then when we find out that the cutlery was neatly ensconced in the napkins it was even more over the line. Ramona did apologize and put on a demure, baby-like voice for the duration of the meal.
She brought up to Luann the “vulnerable” chat the girls had shared at the vineyard that Lu missed, and asked if she wanted to share now. Luann opened up and let them know that it was really difficult for her not to drink the day before. She said that knowing you can drink and choosing to not is hard. Sonja was impressed by Luann being more open than she was last year. I have to say, apart from the room diva portion, I’m liking her better this year as well.
Sonja’s dog groomers arrive to bathe and trim Marley and Lu lights up like a Christmas tree. Somehow their full service visit goes from Marley being tended to, to Luann getting a massage. Get it if you can, girl. Ramona thinks that she gets a lot of grief for being a flirt, but that Luann is the real flirt between them. So far my Twitter peeps disagree, because Ramona is beating Luann out by about 3 to 1 right now.
The women were supposed to go to one of Ramona’s friends for a birthday party, but decided thSomedrather stay in. Ramona (never one to miss an opportunity to mingle with men) tried calling up a bunch of male friends to come over so it wouldn’t be a donut fest. Unfortunately all of the guys in her little black book were going to the party that she was now missing out on except for Jeff. If any of you care to take a walk down memory lane with me, close your eyes and picture the time when Simon showed up to a girls’ night with Alex. Yeah. Hypocrite, thy name is Ramona. With that memory in mind, she can’t really fault the girls for not wanting him there, but in my opinion they were obnoxiously rude about it.
His departure is the demarcation line for when this soiree went from 0-60 in seconds. Ramona offends Dorinda with rumors about John, although her prediction was accurate, so she might be a real witch after all. Leah got completely trash-fish drunk and turned into a one woman tiki-destroyer. Apparently I don’t watch enough news either, because I still have no clue what the political subtext of them is that she was railing about. Tinsley the Prim even got in on the skinny dipping action, which had everyone shocked. (I was kind of hoping a picture in picture shot of Dale with a shocked face on would pop up.)
When Neptune’s nymphettes decide to go back inside, Leah’s see through top is more than Dorinda can handle. Funny how it was fine when Carole or Bethenny did it. Ramona exits stage left to go to the party everyone she cares to be around (hint: men) are, and Luann leaves for home as well. The rest of the ladies get into a screaming match over socialites and Occupy Hamptons that had my head spinning. I will give it to Leah, she’s a say-it-to-your-face type person and she isn’t afraid of a strong opinion. She’s also right that the yacht has sailed, and Sonja forgot to mention that right after her name in the Blue Book is likely the name of JP’s current wife.
The next morning Ramona wakes up to survey the damage. Dorinda points out later that the aftermath is Ramona’s karma for what she did to Dorinda’s room in the Hamptons. It’s funny how quickly perspectives can change when it’s happening to your stuff and not someone else’s. Leah once again proved that she might be able to hang with these ladies when she avoided ratting herself out about the tiki torches and quickly cleaned up the kitchen. Even Ramona was impressed. Leah is one smart cookie, and I’m loving what she’s bringing.
Next week we go from dildos left in chicken to John acting like a “d.” Plus we get a trip to Fashion Week. Hope to see you then!