Vanderpump Rules: It’s a Case of Communication

There’s a lot to break down on this episode of Pump Rules, but I’m going to start off with a recommendation for casting. Next season they need to cast Dr. Drew or some other specialist and change the name to Vanderpump Rules: Communication Rehab.

Because there is so much to unpack, I’m just going to hit the highlights, so pardon the lack of “Stassi’s inner Khalessi coming out while she shoulders a dragon” references. (Okay, I had to sneak one in.) I’m going to deliver the rest as verdicts on a case by case basis.

In the case of Jax vs. Sandoval the initial verdict favored Jax, because (IMO) the matter was over and done and Tom had to get his wokeness on film. However, on appeal the decision was overturned in favor of Tom, because kicking him out as best man and disinviting him altogether was cruel and unusual punishment. Also, Jax’s comments on Ariana figuring out her sexuality earns him a swift kick in the behind, because she has it figured out and he’s the one who doesn’t understand it. I hereby sentence him to educating himself.

Next on the docket is Brittany vs. Ariana. Verdict: Case Dismissed. This shouldn’t have been a thing in the first place. Ariana went to the batting cages and Brittany was being an emotional bride-to-be. This isn’t their fight, or at least it shouldn’t be.

The trial I never thought I’d witness is Schwartz vs. Sandoval. My decision lies completely on the side of Schwartz. I don’t know when, precisely, the goofball became the voice of reason, but he is blossoming and I love it. He objectively looked at both sides and gave Sandoval his honest opinion.

In the unbelievably stupid matter of Brett vs. Scheana vs. Charli, after weeding through all of the twisting of discussion points and half truths…Brett is guilty. Guilty of trying to start a fight between two women over some perceived rivalry that he invented to feed his ego. Scheana wasn’t mad, she was confused by the choice and didn’t think Charli was a good fit for Brett. After watching Charli’s commentary during the date (Heaven help me for saying this) Scheana was right.

The verdict on Dayna vs. Max is still pending based on new evidence that has apparently emerged, but has yet to be presented to the court. I could be wrong, but after many years on the Reality TV viewing bench, I’m pretty sure I get to issue a verdict of, “We all saw it coming, and Dayna refused to open her eyes.”

The last matter brought before the court isn’t as simple as an innocent or guilty verdict. It’s in regard to the attitude that many of the group seem to have about Ariana being a “gray clouded Debbie Downer complete with her own wet blanket.” Had you asked me during any of the previous seasons, I would have pounded my gavel with a swiftness that rivaled Judge Judy and shouted, “GUILTY,” at the top of my lungs. However, through my own struggle with depression and my new-found knowledge that Ariana is also struggling, I’m declaring her Not Guilty with an addendum attached. I agree with her that reality television is not necessarily a “safe space” to discuss her issues, but it’s an important conversation to have openly. Not just with your partner, but with everyone in your life.

No one can know or be expected to know what you’re going through unless you tell them. Silence frees them up to write their own fiction and you can’t be upset that they made improper assumptions if you fail to ever set the record straight. The only way to help ourselves and others is to be vocal. Like Lisa said, “Life is short.” We need to focus on what is important and this certainly is.

Resource numbers:

SAMHSA’s (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

National Suicide Prevention Helpline : 1-800-273-8255

As always, if you’re looking for Jordan and Brianna’s takes on Bravo, don’t forget to check out this week’s Kiki and Kibbitz podcast:

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